


D:BH / D:E || Illegal activity ft. gays

by TheRK100Model



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (Referenced) - Freeform, Collaboration, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Drunk Texting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Gay, Gen Z Gavin Reed, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Minor Spoilers, Murder, Post-Octopunk Media's Detroit: Evolution Fan Film, Smoking, Spoilers for Octopunk Media's Detroit: Evolution Fan Film, Swearing, Vomiting, because we love deviant ada, deviant ada, father son thing with connor and hank, hanks drunk, like ALOT, only in the beginning, only talked about, theres tina and valorie but theres no tag for that in ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28696386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRK100Model/pseuds/TheRK100Model
Summary: me and my friend decided to do a very chaotic groupchat thing with detroit become human and detroit evolution charactersalso theres like 2 straightsthats itCW: mentioned vomiting, mentioned drinking / alcoholism, mentioned murder / murder plans, mentioned smoking and swearing
Relationships: Ada (Detroit: Evolution)/North (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson & Connor, Jerry(s)/Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Lazzo Fratello/Lazzo Fratello's Android Girlfriend, Original Chloe | RT600/Connor, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Ralph needs help

Ralph: Kara

Ralph: Jerry?

Ralph: Jerry Ralph needs help

Jerry: Did something happen??

Ralph: Promise not to get mad at Ralph

Jerry: Yeah okay I promise-

Ralph: Ralph may of accidentally killed a squirrel

Jerry: HOW-

Ralph: Are you mad at Ralph?

Jerry: No I’m not mad!! Just confused is all

Ralph: Okay well Ralph was doing what he normally does and then he saw a squirrel enter the room and out of instinct Ralph may of killed it

Jerry: Well that’s alright, just try to remember they're not trying to hurt you! :)

Ralph: Okay, sometimes Ralph just gets scared

Jerry: And that's okay, you're getting better after all

Ralph: :)

Gavin: what the phck is going on

North: I was going to say the same thing, but didn't want to ruin the moment sooo

Ada: Not to cut in but question

Ada: If I  _ accidentally  _ murdered another android, and one of your found out, would you guys rat me out, or arrest me

North: Depends on who you killed

Ada: Random android

Jerry: How did the conversation change so  _ quickly _

Nines: Because Gavin is in this group chat.

Ada: Nines would you arrest me if I murdered another android

Nines: Depends.

Ada: Please someone give me a straightforward answer

Kara: I would? Is no one concerned?? This is murder???

Ada: Wow thanks

Kara: Listen, if it was self defense, then you're fine 

Ada:  _ But what if it wasn't _

Kara: I'm afraid of you, slightly

Ada: You should be

North: Don't mind her she got lost on the way to the Facebook Mom Group 

Gavin: dhsjshsjsjshks

Connor: Guys Hank is drunk again

Hank: Nooooo I'm nooooot

Connor: Yes you are

North: Go to bed grandpa

Gavin: get wrecked hank

Hank: Youee so mean :(

Connor: Lieutenant please stop drinking so much

Connor: It's taking a serious toll on your physical health

Chloe: What is going on?

Connor: Hank's drunk again, like really drunk.

Chloe: Ah. 

Chloe: Have you tried secretly giving him water?

Hank: I'm not that stupid

Nines: Sometimes I wonder if that's true.

Gavin: oop-

Hank: shup up walmart connor 

Nines: shut*

Nines: And I am the most advanced android CyberLife ever built.

North: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Nines: I would prefer not to.

Hank: I would prefer to cmere little plastic man 👊👊👊

Gavin: hank nines is probably taller than you

Hank: Good

Hank: wait

Hank: so you're saying he's taller than me but Connor’s shorter

Hank: HA! I BAMBOOZLED YOU TRYING TO BAMBOOZLE ME

Connor: Lieutenant, Nines is built at least a few inches taller than me.

Hank: Well that isn't fair cmon get in the car we're going to get you platform shoes right now 

Connor: Not right now, Lieutenant.

Hank: Whyyyyyyyyy you should be taller than him

Gavin: im about to blast you into the stratosphere shut up

North: I'd like to see that

Ada: Me too

Chloe: I leave for one minute-

Connor: Drunk Hank is something

Hank: Something totally cool 

Connor: Whatever you say Lieutenant

Hank: I like to be hip with the kidz

Gavin: what-

North: Omg he's adorable

Lazzo: i have over 99 notifs what's so important

Chloe: Hank’s drunk, Ada’s murderous, and Nines is tall.

Lazzo: thats not important

Lazzo: im trying to do things here and every second I hear  _ beep beep _

Chloe: What type of  _ things _ exactly?

Lazzo: Things no one here needs to know about

North: How mysterious 

Nines: Lazzo you do realise me and Gavin know  _ exactly _ what your doing.

Lazzo: no you dont

Hank: Yeah he's adding to his arm collection right?

Lazzo: SHH

Hank: I'll keep quiet if you let me have one 👀

Lazzo: what no

North: Welcome to the drunk guy blackmails the limb stealer

Lazzo: guys im not a limb stealer

Hank: Can I please have an arm 

Lazzo: why do you want one anyways

Hank: Never know when you might need one

Lazzo: its still no

Lazzo: your not getting any

Nines: you're*

Chloe: He's literally confessing-

Gavin: dont we all already know he does it anyway like me and nines literally caught him

Chloe: Well that's an odd date idea

Nines: It wasn't a 'date'

Gavin: yeah it wasnt

Gavin: trust the tin can

North: It wasn't? :(

Gavin: we weren't even d-

Gavin: nevermind

North: Ohhhh I wanna find someone stealing arms with somebodyyyy

Ada: That sounds fun-

North: 👀 I mean-

Ada: 👀👀

Hank: I can play the arm man I just need one first

Hank: Lazzy boy please

Lazzo: dont call me lazzy boy that's weird

Chloe: How long does it take for someone to become sober? Asking for a friend

Connor: Around 8-12 hours to get  _ fully  _ sober.

Hank: 100000000000000 years

Gavin: no❤️

Hank: You're right it's longer 

Lazzo: anyways i need to get back to the things so-

North: Ah yes, the  _ things _

Lazzo: yeah the  **extremely important** things

Kara: I just scrolled to read the whole thing, can you not kill each other? For one second?

Ada: one second has passed

Ada: lemme grab my knife hold on

Kara: WAIT NO

North: Y e s 

Ada: Now who am I killing today

Hank: Me

Connor: Lieutenant no.

Gavin: connor really went "no❤️"

Hank: Why not 

Hank: It's either murdered or having a hangover that lasts 592858286938583747236273 centuries

Connor: I'd rather my work partner not  _ die _

North: dad*

Connor:  **Work partner, North.**

North:  **Dad, Connor.**

Connor: He's my work partner,  _ nothing else _ .

Kara: As a parent I have to say 

Kara: Yeah, he's your dad

Gavin: lol

Ada: I agree with North and Kara here

Ada: 3 to 1

Connor: He's. My. Work. Partner.

Hank: I'm your dad

Gavin: is this gonna be like that one scene in star wars

North: Yes, except instead Connor’s cheering

Connor: …

Connor:  _ Lieutenant _

Hank: yuh?

Connor: You- Your not my dad, I'm an android I don't  _ have  _ a dad..

Hank: I might be drunk but I have common sense

Ada: Connor admit to it

Connor: Hank is not my dad. We're work partners.

Chloe: Connor come on don't ruin the moment

Connor: ...Fine.

Hank: YAY

North: Oh my rA9 we need to plan a party now 

North: Where tf is Markus

Markus: I was busy

North: Use your leadership powers for good 

North: Hank is Connor’s dad now

Markus: And how am I meant to use my 'leadership powers' for this?

North: Well I don't know 

Markus: Well I don't either

Chloe: The whole chat went silent because it's  _ the _ Markus

Markus: I'm not  _ that _ special

Ada: You lead a revolution-

Kara: 😐😑 Don’t be modest

Markus: The revolution wasn't all my doing, others helped

North: Yea like me who’s only advice was for you to kill everyone 

Josh: Or me who encouraged you to  _ not _ kill anyone to the point of sacrificing big things

North: Where did you come from-

Josh: I didn't know what to say okay

Simon: As long as people survived, I was fine with any choice Markus made

Ada: Wow the whole crew is here

North: I'm the best one 

Simon: North if people didn't survive the revolution would've failed

Josh: EXACTLY

North: You're all against me jeez

Markus: Guys for the love of rA9 stop fighting

North: No

Simon: I agree with Markus

Josh: Same…

North: AND THIS IS WHY WE ARE FIGHTING IN THE FIRST PLACE

Ada: NORTH CALM DOWN

North: I DONT WANT TO

Ada: pLEASE

North: Fine 

Ada: thank you :)

North: Only because you said please tho

Josh: Guys she did the impossible

Simon: :0

North: This isn't the end

North: I'll just wait until she's offline

Ada: Welp guess I'm staying on for a bit longer.

North: You're so annoying sometimes ily

Ada: Thank you :)) <3 <3

Gavin: is it just me or are they flirting with eachother

North: You don't get to talk, by the way when's the wedding with you and Nines?

Gavin: never

Ada: Aw come on

North: Sure it's not anyways can I be the best man

Gavin: we're not having a wedding

Nines: Anytime soon.

Josh: ooOooOOOOOO

Gavin: nines shut up

Nines: Only if you stop smoking.

Gavin: …

Hank: HA

Gavin: okay this is blackmail

North: Yes and I fully support it

Ada: Me too

Nines: Well Gavin?

Gavin: ...asshole

North: *gAsp* tHere aRe chiLdren pResent!!1!1

Kara: I was typing that..

Ada: Oh my rA9 that's incredible

Kara: Well I’m serious

Kara: You're lucky Alice isn't online

Nines: It's Gavin he's going to swear no matter what.

North: Sorry lady 

Kara: She’s only actually on here because she wanted to be and now you're talking about murder and blackmail and swearing

Ada: North and I make jokes about murder all the time and we're not going to stop anytime soon

North: Thank you 

Ada: Your welcome :)

Kara: As long as you at least specify they’re jokes-

North: No 

Ada: In some cases they're not jokes.

Ada: K I D D I N G

Ada: unless?

North: Listen I'm doing my best

North: I only am serious about like 75% of times I advise killing someone 

Ada: 75 pErCeNt iS aLoT!1!1!

Kara: I feel like I'm being made fun of 

Ada: You are :)

North: At least I'm not serious 100% 

Ada: Yeah

Ada: I think I'd be more worried if she was.

North: Listen, your child probably thinks it's funny too

Kara: You're not a parent??

Ada: Your right, we need Hank's opinion

Hank: 👍

Ada: Well look at that

Ada: Now can we continue to make jokes about murder?

Kara: …

Kara: Fffine.

Ada: Thank you :)

Ada: Now North would you go on a killing spree with me? like just as a fun day thing.

Ada: Or night.

North: Night. Always night.

Ada: True true

Ada: Forgot about that I haven't killed someone in a few months

North: Oh wow we need to change that 

Ada: We really do

Ada: Now we wait for Car to butt in saying that we're talking about murder too much.

Kara: ….

Ada: Well?

Nines: Ada don't murder people otherwise Gavin and I will actually have to arrest you.

North: If you arrest her I’ll uhh. Well. I won't say because Kara but you know

Ada: Thank you North ily <3

North: Anytime

Gavin: oh look they're flirting again

North: Yes and what about it 

Lazzo: wait how many couples do we have in this group now

North: A lot

North: And none of them are straight (as far as I know)

Lazzo: wrong i have a girlfriend

Lazzo: so at least 1 is straight

North: Darn

Lazzo: why are you even upset about that

North: No reason 

Gavin: also at least me and nines don't flirt in the group chat we keep that shit to ourselves

North: Really

Gavin: yes really

Gavin: we do that stuff in our own time

North: So calling out Laz wasn't the least bit flirtatious?

North: wE knOw wHat yoUre dOing 😏😏😳😳😘

Gavin: jesus fucking Christ

Gavin: that wasn't flirtatious

North: Where's Ada

North: ADA

North: BACK ME UP 

Ada: I agree with North

Ada: it did sound like there was some ✨hidden meaning✨ behind that

Ada: Your welcome in advance North

North: Thanks 

Ada: :)

North: Wow he even went quiet

Gavin: im literally here

Gavin: it didn't have any meaning behind it i only said we because me and nines spend alot of our time together

North: WOW

North: READ THAT AGAIN

North: LMAO

Gavin: 🖕

North: 🥰

Ada: This is amusing

North: Gavin is my best friend we get along so well

Gavin: yeah right

North: I think we killed the chat 

Connor: I just didn't have anything to say nor did I want to butt in all of a sudden.

Connor: Not all of us are in a relationship.

Chloe: Yeah exactly!!

Hank: I was vomiting :3

Connor: Yeah I witnessed it all.

Hank: Sorry

Connor: It's fine

Chloe: But yeah don't start a conversation exclusive to some people and then get mad when no one has anything else to say :/

Ada: Wow that hit hard and it wasn't even directed at me.

North: I hate you all

North: Except Ada

Ada: Yeah I'd be pretty mad if you hated me

Ada: After all 👀

North: Understandable

North: Listen you can hate me just have reasoning 

Ada: Don't worry I don't have any reason to hate you

Ada: And I probably won't get any

North: THANK YOU

Ada: YOUR WELCOME 

Lazzo: is everyone finally going to be quiet

North: No

  
Lazzo: great


	2. The Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 couples in the same gc  
> Reed900 and Ada x North

North: PEOPLE

North: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

Ada: WHAT IS IT

North: I may have spied with my little eye and found Gavin and Nines 👀👀👀

North: Care to explain, gentlemen?

Gavin: you saw nothing

Nines: ?

North: ORDER IN THE COURT

North: Can I have one of those judge hammers

Ada: It’s not a judge hammer but 🔨

North: Thank you

North: NOW DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO GET SOMEONE TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE BC ITS IMPORTANT

Gavin: north oh my god

Gavin: that’s not happening for a while

Nines: What Gavin said.

North: Y'all are so boring 

North: Anyways 

Gavin: also i need to ask you something

North: ??

Gavin:  _ when’s the wedding between you and Ada _

North: Hmmmmm hopefully soon 

North: But if you two don't go together you're not being invited

Ada: no invite one but not the other out of  _ spite _

North: I LOVE HOW YOU THINK 

North: Nines you can come but Gavin … stink man

Ada: Gavin always stinks of cigarette smoke.

North: And sour apple 

Ada: Agreed.

Gavin: guys i’m right here-

North: Did you hear something?

Gavin: i-

Gavin: yes i did-

North: There it is again

Gavin: i-

Gavin: seriously-

North: Probably just the wind

Gavin: scroll up its literally there

North: Hmmm this is one strange illusion we have on our hands

Ada: Yeah we don’t know what you're talking about Gavin. Have you been having too many cigarettes?

North: YES COME FOR HIM

Ada: Maybe you should cut down on the smoking, it might be affecting your cognitive functions.

Gavin: nines defend me

Nines: Although they could be less hard on you, I agree with the smoking bit

.

Ada: YES

North: OH MY rA9 EVEN NINES IS ON OUR SIDE

Ada: THIS I AMAZING

North: IT REALLY IS 

Gavin: i swear you 2 are the most annoying pair i’ve ever met

Ada: Thank you :)

North: Thanks dude 😘😘

Ada: THE EMOJIS

North: If Gavin ever gets on your nerves just pretend to flirt with him 

North: Works like a charm

Gavin: i- i can't even-

North: Hey boy ;;;)

Ada: OH MY rA9 I LOVE THIS

Gavin: no❤

North: What a gentleman…. hey….. want to go out for some thirium later,,,,,, 😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴

Ada: THE PUNCTUATION

Ada: North you’re amazing

North: No you 

North: Now shush I'm seducing him 

Gavin: yeah it’s not working

North: My lips are like skittles….. want to taste the rainbow??? 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪😘😘😘😘😘

Ada: This is so amusing

Gavin: oh my fucking god

Gavin: stop

North: No

North: Today I had an awful morning😩😩😩😩😠😠😠😠😥😥😥😥 my processors weren't working 😰😰😰😰😱😱😱 but guess what?? 🧐🧐🧐😲😲😲😲😲 You turned me on 😜😜😜😜😜😚😚😚😚😌😌😌😌😌😌

North: Nines take notes

Nines: I’m fine thank you.

Nines: Also I’m typing for Gavin now he doesn’t want to talk to you

Ada: Well I guess we did our job correctly

North: YES 

North: Give him a big smooch for me

Nines: Hold on.

North: OH MY GOD IS HE ACTUALLY DOING IT

North: AHAHAHAHAA MISSION SUCCESSFUL

Nines: I didn’t do it, I was telling him what you said, and frankly, he was disgusted.

North: Good 

North: But seriously kiss him sometime soon please 

Nines: Why?

North: I kind of sort of already hired wedding planners sooooo

Nines: Gavin said “jesus fucking christ i hate you so much”

North: Awwww tell him I love him too 🥺

Nines: And Gavin has now left the room.

North: NO

North: SHIT

North: THAT WASNT MY PLAN

Nines: Well it happened

Ada: Hey off topic but Nines is some of my code still in you

Nines: Some fragments could possibly be left, but nothing I’ve noticed.

  
Ada: Okay.

North: I'm sorry what 😃

Ada: Nothing-

North: How did I not know about this 

North: Explain

Ada: Before I deviated i  _ may  _ have forced Nines into a memory probe by choking him and I  _ accidentally _ transferred some of my code to him, and vice versa.

Nines: Gavin cried.

Nines: He also said I was a “force in his life he couldn’t live without.”

North: OH MY GOSH 

North: You actually got him to be wholesome

Nines: Almost died in the process but yes, yes I did.

North: Oh wait I didn't even read the rest 

North: GOOD FOR YOU ADA!!!

Ada: THANK YOU

Ada: SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES MY DECEPTION SKILLS FOR ONCE 

North: I'm very proud of you

North: I mean he's our friend now so like, no, but also yes

Nines: I never said I was your friend.

North: :(

Ada: NINES YOU MADE NORTH SAD

Ada: Let me grab my knife.

North: ADA NO

Ada: ADA YES

Nines: Ada if you murder me or anyone else the DPD  _ will  _ arrest you.

Nines: You’ve deviated so you have no excuse like last time.

North: I hate to say it but listen to him for this one time

North: Listen, we can still do it, just not get caught 

North: Killing him just wouldn't work, besides Gavin’s a witness

Ada: You betrayed me for a bit there but fair point.

Nines: Oh Gavin is back.

North: Oh he is!!

Nines: He is, sitting right beside me. :)

North: I- 

North: That's it Ada where are you I'm gonna sit beside you so I don't feel lonely in my OWN HOUSE

Ada: HOLD ON I'M COMING

North: NOT IF I FIND YOU FIRST

Ada: So are we just gonna bump into each other on the street then?

North: Yes and then the world can see how cute we are

Ada: Right, I’m finding you first

North: NO ME

Ada: NO I’M FINDING YOU FIRST

North: IM LITERALLY IN MY PAJAMAS BUT IT DOESNT MATTER

Ada: NORTH IT'S 2PM AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET DRESSED PROPERLY

North: Well I'm sorry I had more important things to do 

North: Like seduce Gavin

Ada: North you need to get your priorities straight

North: Haha not a single thing about me is straight do you think my priorities are 

Ada: Well me too but-

Ada: Get your priorities in check

North: Better, but still 

North: I find annoying somebody much more important than putting on a different piece of fabric

Ada: Wait we can’t forget Nines isn’t straight too.

Nines: Gavin has been reading over my shoulder this whole time  while cuddling with me

Nines: Take that as you will

North: Awwww he ships usssss 

North: Hi Gavin if you can see this please give your boyfriend love 

Nines: Aw. Okay he was actually cute just now

North: YES 

Ada: As soon as I saw you two I immediately knew you were going to be a thing.

North: EXACTLY you just have that ~chemistry~

Nines: I don't get how people would 'ship' us before.

North: Magic fortune telling skills

Nines: We didn't even get along well before.

Ada: North I remembered something about you that was straight

North: Now I'm intrigued

Ada: Didn't you like, kiss Markus

North: UGH DONT REMIND ME 

North: It was one time and he tasted like a god complex

Ada: I can imagine

Gavin: hi dickheads

Ada: He's back :0

North: Hi bestie!! 😌

Gavin: i regret this so much already

Gavin: but i got tired of reading over nines' shoulder

North: Please tell me you're still cuddling him 

North: Speaking of WHERE IS ADA

Ada: IM LITERALLY ALMOST TO YOUR HOUSE

Gavin: who said anything about me cuddling nines

Gavin: because

Gavin: i'm

Gavin: not

Ada: Don't lie.

North: Nines did 

North: Scroll up

Gavin: nines istfg

Nines: What? You were cute.

Gavin: NINES.

North: Awwwwww

Ada: I'm so taking a screenshot of this

Gavin: nope goodbye can't deal with this anymore

North: COME ONNNN 

Ada: PLEASE IT WAS GETTING CUTE

Ada: Also North I'm outside your house.

North: Wow creepy much

Ada: Not my fault you didn't notice me knocking on the door  _ 3 times _

North: I WAS LISTENING TO MITSKI AND IT WAS LOUD 

Ada: Okay fair enough

Ada: What song 👀

Ada: North tell me

North: tWO SLOW DANCERS LISTEN I LIKE THAT ONE 

North: Okay hang on I'll let you in.

North: I should get you a key at this point 

Ada: Yeah you should

Ada: Get a spare key and just give it to me.

North: Only if you promise not to murder me in my sleep

Ada: Why would I do that?

North: Murder me or promise to not?

Ada: I promise I won't murder you

North: Okay thank you now you can come in 

Ada: Thank you

Nines: I must admit you two are quite cute.

Ada: eXACTLY

North: Thank you for noticing, we know

  
  


(~few minutes later~)

  
  


Nines: Okay now that Gavin is doing something else I need to tell you guys something

North: TEA 

Nines: Guess what Gavin did just now

North: Please say he proposed

Nines: Unfortunately no.

Ada: Did y'all kiss 👀

North: 👀👀👀

Nines:  _ You're not wrong _

Ada:  **_YES_ **

North: YES 

Ada: Also guys there's nothing stopping you from squirting the shampoo and conditioner bottles you find in the shops on the floor right then and there.

Ada: Do with that what you will

North: CAN WE???????

Ada: IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION OF COURSE

Nines: Last time I checked that was illegal.

North: Party pooper

Nines:  _ It’s illegal. _

Ada:  **:(**

North: Technically it’s illegal to frown at your wife on Sundays

North: ALSO YOU MADE HER SAD AND NOW YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE

Nines: Isn’t it illegal to  _ scowl  _ and not frown.

Nines: Just, a little mistake there

North: scowl

/skoul/

verb

frown in an angry or bad-tempered way.

North: And it lists frown in the synonyms

Nines: I know the meaning of scowl

Nines: Laws have specific wording for a reason.

North: Since you're getting nerd-y, question

North: What do the degrees of murder actually mean I've always been confused by that 

Nines: First degree murder is you planned it ahead of time and you intended to hurt someone

Nines: Second degree murder is you didn’t plan it but you intended to hurt someone

Nines: Third degree murder is ‘killing of the heart’

Nines: So you murdered someone out of emotion. You didn’t plan it ahead of time and you didn’t intend to hurt anyone.

North: So like would Ada be fourth or something? Planned it and intended but didn't actually mean it?

Nines: In Ada’s case it would technically be First Degree, not many cases involve android serial killers, we only have a couple, Ada’s included.

North: THATS COOL

North: Thank you smart guy

Nines: Your welcome.

Nines: Also Gavin

Nines: It’s illegal to smoke in bed.

Gavin: fuck off

Nines: No

North: AHSKAKDKSJDJS REALLY

Nines: Yes it’s illegal

North: Well 

North: Are you going to break him out of jail or however things work

Nines: No

Nines: If he went to jail, he goes to jail

North: Where's Ada

North: I'd break you out of jail anytime

Ada: Thank you  **:)**

Ada: I would too but I doubt you would end up in jail.

North: I don't know… tbh Nines already said he isn't my friend so. And yes I know you're reading this thats the point mr. guy

Ada: Okay can i just talk about how weird Nines’ name would sound if he ended up getting Gavin’s last name through marriage

Ada: Nines Reed

North: OH MY GOD EW PLS 

North: Both of you change your last names to 900 or something 

Nines: I technically don’t have a last name.

North: Oh no oh no

North: Your first name is too cool to ruin it by saying NINES REED

Gavin: fuck you all

Gavin: except nines

Gavin: just a little bit with nines

North: Its not directly directed towards you it just doesn't work cohesively

North: You're actually fine

Gavin: still fuck you all

Gavin: except nines, only a little bit with nines

Ada: Also didn’t Gavin give Nines his name

Ada: Before them I think we all just called Nines ‘900’

North: Well good job with that

Ada: Then moving onto my second point

Ada: Don’t- Don’t parents give their children their names   
Ada: And if Gavin gave Nines his name-

North: I-

Ada: Just a thought  **:)**

Ada: Because I think CyberLife called Nines ‘Connor’

Ada: And we can’t have two Connors

Ada: That would be confusing.

North: I think you think a little bit too much

Ada: RK models are built to analyse literally  _ anything and everything _

Ada: Nines can back me up here

Nines: It’s true

Ada: Curse Kamski

Ada: He even looks weird.

North: EXACTLY

North: Listen I don't even have a personal problem with man buns but on him

North: That man could have a bowl cut and still look better than he does right now 

Ada: YEAH

Ada: And the fact he has a red pool

Ada: Like, who has that.

North: He probably thought a blue pool would be too on the nose 

Ada: True

Ada: But it looks like blood you have to admit.

North: It definitely does

North: Honestly he could have killed someone in the pool and just left their body in it and someone would pass it off as eccentric decor-

Ada: YEAH HE’S RICH ENOUGH

North: I THINK WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING 

Ada: KAMSKI WOULD 100% KILL SOMEONE

Ada: I MEAN LOOK AT HOW I TURNED OUT

North: AHAHAHA

North: But seriously Nines you should do an investigation

Nines: I’ll see what we can do

Ada: YES THANK YOU

Ada: ARREST HIM ARREST HIM

North: OH MY GOD OUR PLAN IS WORKING

North: I CHANGED MY MIND THINK ALL YOU WANT

Ada: WE NEED TO GET THAT MAN AT LEAST IN JAIL   
Ada: I’m not going to mention what I want to do to him since Nines will be suspicious of me but I think you know

North: We could always draw a stick figure comic 

North: Or just do it secretly

North: I mean whaaaaat

Ada:  _ I think you know what I want to do. _   
Ada: Like, he literally threw me out in the dumpster

Ada: I HAD TO REBUILD MYSELF

North: OKAY LETS DO IT 

North: THAT ASSHOLE IS GOING TO. uh. pay. with money  **:)**

Ada: Yes with a special currency  **:))**

North: You're way better at codes than me

Ada: Yeah since I’ve had to use them alot.

Ada: Also Nines remember when you were showing me all the case files and I acted totally oblivious and you got fooled by it.

Nines: You weren’t a suspect, you had almost nothing to do with the murder we couldn’t have suspected you.

Ada: Yeah whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Norths past time is annoying Gavin


	3. The Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slight chlonnor, ada x north, reed900, and mentions of the canon detroit evolution ships  
> aka, chaos  
> and everyones gay

Lazzo: guys im accusing ada of murder

Ada: Why?

Lazzo: idk you seem sus

Chloe: I don’t think that's how it works

Lazzo: well its how it works now

North: No

Ada: YES BACK ME UP

Lazzo: i mean ada has killed people in the past

North: That was the PAST

North: And you have no evidence

Ada: Exactly.

Lazzo: i have evidence

Lazzo: and its that she literally murdered 8 androids

Lazzo: she could do it again

Ada: I swear you're just trying to get me arrested for no reason.

North: We have literal cops here

North: Someone please confirm that this isn't how it works

Connor: I’m the only one here right now so Lazzo, that’s not how accusing someone works

Connor: You need sufficient evidence, this isn’t Among Us.

Connor: You can’t just say someone’s ‘sus’.

Chloe: We should play it though! It might be fun

Connor: It would be pure chaos.

North: Where do I sign up

Nines: Nowhere.

Chloe: :(

Connor: Nines apologise.

Nines: No.

Connor: Please?

  
Nines: Still no.

North: Chloe is literally the only wholesome one here you can't make her sad

North: And maybe Alice and Jerry and Ralph

North: Okay we have more wholesome people than I thought but still

Nines: Fine, sorry.

Connor:  **:)**

Chloe: Does that mean we can play sometime?

Connor: I’ll try to convince Nines and Gavin, since I’m sure everyone else would like to play.

North: Of course I want to play I get to kill people without consequences

Ada: Yeah I have the same reasoning as North here.

North: :0 We can be a cute impostor alliance!!

Ada: YES

Gavin: i just wanted to say

Gavin: fuck you all

Gavin: okay bye

Nines: Goodbye Gavin.

Tina: awww how heartwarming

Gavin: since when did you show up-

Tina: since now 

Tina: i have to make sure you don't kill each other

Gavin: we have nines and connor

Gavin: we’ll be fine

Tina: wow thanks

Gavin: your welcome

Nines: You’re*

Gavin: nines-

Gavin: you didn’t have to do that

Tina: good job nines

Nines: Thank you Tina

Ada: Okay when was she added.

Ada: I need to know

Tina: i've been here the whole time i just know how to be quiet unlike some people

Gavin: yeah like nines

Nines: I simply correct you on your spelling.

Tina: i was referring to you gavin

Gavin: wow

Gavin: your so mean

Nines:  **You’re***

Gavin: nines shut up

Tina: this is hilarious

Gavin: no it’s not

Ada: It really is

North: Yeah, it definitely is

Tina: see?

Tina: it's funny

Gavin: everyone’s just against me

Gavin: even my own boyfriend

Tina: good you deserve it

Gavin: w o w

Tina: don't worry i still love you you just deserve to be made fun of sometimes

Gavin: sometimes? more like all the time

North: HA

North: Yeah

Gavin: yeah earlier north was trying to  _ flirt  _ with me

Gavin: it was terrible

Tina: i know i read that

Tina: i thought it was genius 

North: Thank you

Tina: np

Gavin: istfg everyone hates me

Gavin: except nines

Gavin: he’s just really annoying

Tina: i don't hate you i just find funny things funny

Gavin: nothing about me being made fun of is funny tina

Tina: if it was nines you'd be wheezing

Gavin: no i wouldn’t

Tina: nines you smell like beef and cheese

Nines: ?

Gavin: okay that was a good one

Tina: see?

Gavin: fuck.

Tina: BAHAHAHAHA 

Gavin: okay but bullying nines is a completely different story

Tina: why?

Tina: are you a tsundere?

Gavin: tf tina

Gavin: no

Tina: yeah i think u are

Gavin: i-

Gavin: i hate you sometimes

Tina: good 

Tina: a little bit of hate is healthy

Gavin: oh it’s more then a little bit

Nines: Than*

Gavin: omfg nines

Gavin: i will throw you onto ice in a minute

Gavin: and leave you there

Nines: So you think I’m not capable of getting up myself?

  
Gavin: no it’s just-

Gavin:  i couldn’t think of any other threats

Tina: watch him be a perfect figure skater

Ada: That would be so funny

Tina: if you're actually going to do it i'm going to come over to watch

Gavin: tina no

North: Tina yes

Gavin no❤

Tina: omw right now

Nines: Tina he’s not going to actually do it he can’t even pick me up.

Gavin: yes i can

Nines: No you can’t.

Tina: coward

Gavin: i’m not a fucking coward

Gavin: it’s not my fault i can’t pick nines up because he’s made of metal and shit

Tina: oh i'm sowwy your life must be so hawd 🥺

Gavin: stop doing your uwu girl voice

Tina: when you stop doing your asshole voice

Tina: oh wait

Tina: that's just your normal voice my bad

Gavin: exactly

Gavin: so stop the uwu voice

Nines: Gavin you do realise you’ve said UwU to me before.

Gavin: that’s it i’m leaving

Tina: wait no don't go 

Tina: i haven't even metaphorically wiped your face on the pavement yet

Nines: I could physically do that

Nines: If I wanted of course.

Nines: Which I don’t.

Tina: now that is love

Ada: Tina if I murdered a random android and you found out

Ada: Would you rat me out

Ada: / arrest me

Ada: ?

Tina: ofc not 

Tina: you have to do what you have to do 

Tina: but if it was for money can i have some

Ada: Thank you for both giving a to-the-point answer AND saying you wouldn’t rat me out.

Tina: is this hypothetical or did you actually kill a random android

  
Ada: I’m not disclosing that information.

Tina: ahhhh

Tina: good job ig 

Nines: Ada I’m slightly worried.

Ada:  **:)**

North: As her future wife, you should be 

Ada: What North said.

Lazzo: wait so do we only have 1 straight couple here-

North: I think so 

Tina: ha you're outnumbered

Lazzo: because we have ada and north, nines and gavin and then tina and valorie

Lazzo: why am i the only straight guy here

North: Cry about it 

Lazzo: no

Lazzo: and theres some people who just aren’t interested in anyone

Lazzo: like connor

Nines: Last time I checked he had a crush.

Nines: So, he’s straight.

North: 👀👀 Excuse me???

North: Say that again, but slower

Nines: Connor. Has. A. Crush.

Ada: Who?

Nines: I’m not telling you because I’m not a total douchebag.

Nines: Unlike some people.

North: He went silent so you know it's true 

Connor: I just don’t have anything to say.

Connor: That’s why I’m not talking.

North: Hmmmmm

Ada: Wait I wanna try and figure out who it is   
Ada: So Nine’s they’re a female right

Nines: Yes.

Ada: Okay

Ada: Hmm

Ada: North list some possibilities

Ada: I’ll do Process Of Elimination

North: Uhhhh, me, you and Tina are all taken so

North: Really only Kara and Chloe are left

North: And I think Kara has a thing with Luther sooooo

Ada: Yeah they’re definitely a thing

Ada: They even have a child

Ada: So that leaves... 👀

Ada: Doesn’t that only leave Chloe?

North: Well that was the most anticlimactic process of elimination ever

Chloe: What?

Ada: We’re trying to find out who Connor’s crush is

Ada: And he’s fallen silent

North: Mystery solved I guess?

Ada: Case cracked

Ada: Is that what y’all say

Nines: We don’t say that normally.

Ada: Aw man.

North: Then what do you say??

Nines: We don’t normally say anything.

Nines: We just sit in silence and shock.

North: I might become a detective just to spice things up 

Tina: please do 

Gavin: please don’t

North: I might 

Gavin: you’d be terrible

Ada: Guys we’re getting off track

Ada: We need to hear from Connor

Connor: What?

  
Ada: You have a crush on Chloe don’t you

Connor: What? No?

North: Okay, what's your name

North: Just answer 

Connor: ?

North: Just do it

Connor: My name’s Connor

North: Okay, now what's your model?

Connor: RK800?

North: And what's your crush’s name?

Connor: Why would I say that? 

North: Oh

North: I should have known confusion wouldn't work 

Nines: Nice try though.

North: Thanks

North: I saw it in a movie once

Connor: Movie’s aren’t always the most reliable source of information.

North: Neither are you 

North: Terrible liar

Connor: How am I a liar?

North: “wHat?? nO?”

Connor: I’m telling the truth, I’m not interested in anyone.

Tina: i've been offline for a sec but you definitely are

Nines: Connor you’re a deviant it’s okay to be interested in people.

Connor: I’m not interested in anyone though. I’ve never had those feelings.

Nines: Connor, we’re near identical models and even I’m in a relationship.

North: Listen to your brother

North: He’s annoying but he’s right 

Ada: Come on Connor it’s obvious

Connor: I’m telling the truth.

Connor: I don’t want a relationship and I’ve never wanted one.

Tina: and ive never simped for elsa from frozen 

Tina: just admit it my guy

Nines: I could be lying

Nines: Connor could not have a crush

Nines: And he could.

Nines: Pick which one

North: Sorry I don't speak detective

Nines: Well, learn to speak it

North: I do know you're being very mysterious

  
Nines: Because it’s quite entertaining

.

Gavin: yes nines go

Gavin: trick them all

Tina: awwwwww

Gavin: what

Tina: rooting for your boyfriend

Tina: it's adorable

Gavin: thanks ig

North: Yes yes they’re very cute but seriously

North: We’re in the middle of a mystery here

Nines: You don’t have to solve it, but go ahead.

North: Well I don't know how to lead an investigation 

North: I was just making sure it wasn't forgotten about

North: Help me out, Metal Sherlock

Connor: Which one?

North: Not you because you're the subject of the detectiveness 

Nines: And why would I help you on a mystery I technically made?

North: Stop giving yourself so much credit 

North: You're not the one with the crush 

North: But I guess you're right

Gavin: he’s the one that made the mystery

Nines: Thank you Gavin

Gavin: your welcome

Nines: You’re*

Gavin: you’re not welcome

North: I say he's guilty

North: And I bang my judge hammer

Nines: They’re actually called Gavels

North: Haha Gavel Gavin 

North: Hey Gavin, do you want this gavel gav-IN your skull

Nines: Don’t do that.

Gavin: what the tin can said

Tina: i don't think that's how court works either

Tina: as a member of the jury, i also say he's guilty

Gavin: since when was this phoenix wright

Tina: since now 

Tina: now shush

Gavin: no❤

North: CONNOR

North: Do you have any evidence in your favor

North: Or witnesses

Connor: Stop treating this like a court case

North: Looks like he doesn’t, guys

Tina: *accusatory gasp*

Nines: And Connor’s offline

North: OH MY GOSH HE’S RUNNING FROM US 

North: What is that charge called

Nines: It technically doesn’t have a charge

North: Oh 

North: Well

North: HE’S STILL GUILTY 

North: GAVEL NOISES

Ada: The noise of wood banging against wood

North: The sound of victory 

Ada: I can’t be bothered to look it up but Nines when do you even use the Gavel

North: At important times

Nines: It’s used to grab attention.

North: ….

North:  **CONTINUOUS GAVEL NOISES**

Ada: Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang-

North: Thank you

Ada: You’re welcome  **:)**

Tina: sorry i was getting water did he confess

Nines: No

Tina: i think we should interrogate him

Ada: Interrogating an Interrogator

Ada: Huh.

Tina: true, bad plan

Gavin: next thing you know he’ll start interrogating whoever is interrogating him

Tina: i mean what else can we do? we can't just let him get away

Nines: Okay apart from me who does he trust here

Nines: Trust on a personal level.

North: Wait a second

North: I might have an idea

Nines: ?

North: The whole point of interrogation is to touch on a weak spot right?

North: And who does he have a weak spot for?

Nines: ...You’re right.

Nines: I’m not interfering anymore.

Nines: Figure it out yourselves.

Tina: nines has left the building

Ada: Well we still have like... we only have 1 competent detective

Ada: 2 if you count Gavin

Ada: Which I don’t.

Gavin: wow thanks

Tina: i'm not that competent

Ada: Better than Gavin

Tina: true

Tina: but he’s like, lowest of the low

Tina: 15 cent bin in a dollar store

Gavin:  **wow thanks**

Tina: ilyt 

North: Anyways can we just get this over with 

North: I want drama

Gavin: too bad

North: Too bad for you actually, I know what I'm doing 

North: Chloe? 

Gavin: oop-

Chloe: Yes, sorry, I'm here, what were we talking about? 

Ada: We need to interrogate Connor because Nines said he has a secret crush but he won’t tell us who and it might be you and the point of interrogating is to hit a weak spot so we need you.

Chloe: Oh-

Gavin: yeah-

Chloe: That’s a lot.

Chloe: Well- alright?

Chloe: I highly doubt it's me, but if it helps you, I’ll throw my shot in the ring.

Ada: Thank you.

Chloe: Where is he, then?

Connor: I’m here.

Chloe: Oh! Hello! I didn’t see you.

North:  _ now everyone shut up. _

Connor: Hello

Chloe: Uh, yeah! Hi!

Chloe: I'm supposed to interrogate you, but I don't think I'm very good at it. 

Connor: That’s fine

Chloe: So…

Chloe: We’ve been friends for a while now, right?!

Connor: Yeah, we have

Chloe: They, er, wanted me to ask you if. 

Chloe: Well. 

Chloe: They wanted me to ask you if there was anything else  _ there _ ? You don't have to respond, this was a dumb idea anyway. 

Connor: Well, there isn’t really anything  _ there,  _ barely anything.

Chloe: Oh. I had a hunch anyway. 

Connor: A hunch?

Chloe: This whole point is to try to figure out your secret crush or, whatever that means, and they asked me? I said it was a bad idea. 

Connor: Well, I don’t have a secret crush, or even a crush.

Chloe: I guess they were wrong, then. I'm sorry for wasting your time-

Connor: No it’s fine! You didn’t waste my time

Chloe: What? But I did! It was a pointless conversation. It could have been completely avoided. I'm sorry. 

Connor: It’s fine, I like talking to you, we are close friends after all

Chloe: Yeah!

Chloe: Close friends. 

Connor: Yeah :))

Chloe: I guess the mystery is solved?

Connor: Yeah I guess

Tina: i'm sorry what

Nines: I guess Connor doesn’t crack easily.

Chloe: Or he’s just telling the truth? Can you trust him for once?

Connor: Yeah, Nines could be lying, he even said it himself

North: WHY DIDN’T THAT WORK-

North: I'm still mad

Gavin: wow

Gavin: i thought he would crack more easily

Gavin: since even nines admits to stuff 

Gavin: and isn’t nines meant to be a upgraded version of connor

Nines: An*

Nines: And yes.

Tina: connor deviated later

Tina: also nines could not get over how sexy you are

Tina: i don't know what he sees

Gavin: i-

North: No longer mad, now just invested in this

Gavin:  **i’m sorry what**

Tina: nothiiiing

Gavin: no you said something

Tina: no i didn't 

Tina: *whistles*

Gavin: are you fucking blind

Tina: yes

Tina: and what are you

Gavin: not blind

Gavin: and gay ig

Tina: yay that makes two of us

North: Three

Ada: Four

Nines: Five?

Tina: this is why i secretly love this gc

Tina: sh don't tell anyone 

Gavin: now that you’ve said that i’m telling everyone at the dpd

Nines: Gavin no

Gavin: fine

Tina: pls no i made you friendship bracelets that one time 

Gavin: i don’t even know where it is at this point

Tina: i'm offended

Nines: I know where it is

Nines: But I’m not telling you Gavin

Gavin: thanks nines-

Tina: the next time we see each other if you're not wearing it you're not my fwiend anymowe 

Gavin: omfg stop with the uwu voice

Tina: id wather not x3

Gavin: fuck you

Tina: fuck you more

Gavin: no fuck you more

Chloe: Is this friendship?

Nines: Friendship between them at least.


	4. the part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bullying gavin :)

Gavin: you ever see something so perfect that you just wanna smash it into the fucking concrete-

Tina: so like your boyfriend?

Gavin: i-

Gavin: no-

Gavin: like, perfectly white snow is what I meant

Gavin: like how you would throw a snowball onto concrete

Tina: or at you

Tina: that would be fun

Gavin: you don't know what you've started

Tina: oh nooo oh i'm so scared oh dear oh my

Gavin: oh fuck off

Tina: you first :)

Gavin: no u

Tina: this is a lovely way to start off the morning

Ada: I'm fully up for watching you two have a snowball fight.

Tina: oh, it won't be a two sided fight honey, you're just signing up for me to destroy him

Gavin: excuse me i can throw perfectly well

Nines: Yeah, totally.

North: I heard we were killing Gavin?

Ada: Well Tina is saying that she'll absolutely destroy Gavin in a snowball fight, and Nines seems to be going along with it.

Ada: But we're not killing him yet

North: Aw, okay 

Ada: Notice how I said yet

Ada: That could mean like, in a few minutes

Gavin: ada please don't show up at my house to murder me at 9 in the morning

North: Omw 

Gavin: please no

Ada: Have fun :)

Tina: oh my gosh we should work together

Tina: 3-way murder

Tina: we can be each other's witnesses

Ada: Wait, that's a good idea.

Nines: Maybe here isn't the best place to be making murder plans when you have Connor and I present.

North: Then I'll make a seperate chat 

Ada: Yeah then Nines won't know what we're doing :)

North: Yeah!!

North: And you technically can't prove we’re talking about it there either. 

Connor: Should I mention that Nines can hack into pretty much anything?

North: That would’ve been helpful, yeah

Connor: Well I said it then.

Tina: shit

Connor: Wait, have you guys been doing anything? Outside of this group chat?

North: Nooooooooooooooo

Connor: You're lying.

North: Yessssssssssssss

North: SCATTER

Ada: *Runs*

Tina: you’ll never take me alive

Tina: or dead

Nines: I wasn't planning on taking you

North: So can we carry out our plan?

Nines: But if you kill anyone I will arrest you.

Nines: So don't try anything.

Tina: are there any crimes on throwing too many snowballs

Nines: As long as it doesn't damage property or you throw it so hard it counts as assault, no, there's nothing.

Tina: are there any crimes on a three against one snowball fight 

North: 👀

Nines: No there's nothing illegal about snowball fights just make sure you don't but Gavin so hard he can charge you for assault.

Tina: okay great

Tina: next time it snows, watch out 

Gavin: why is everyone's favourite hobby bullying me tf

Tina: it's not personal you're just really bullyable

Gavin: i-

Ada: It's true.

North: Couldn't have said it better

Gavin: alright fuck you all goodbye

Nines: He just physically left the room.

Nines: He just got up and left.

Tina: wait no why do i feel bad

Tina: he's going to bully me for saying that

Gavin: i so am

Nines: And he's offline again.

Tina: what now

Nines: Nevermind he just went outside to smoke.

Nines: He'll be back in a few minutes.

Tina: ohhhhhhh

Nines: I've tried to tell him to stop but he won't

North: Tell him again, but louder

Nines: That will turn into a yelling match.

North: Baseball bat for added effect?

Nines: No.

North: I'm not saying to swing it at him, I'm just saying to have it nearby 

North: Well

North: I guess I am saying to swing it at him

Nines: I am not hurting Gavin just to get him to not smoke. 

North: You don't have to HURT him

Nines: Still no.

North: Worth a try 🤷‍♀️

Ada: Guys one time I heard Nines say that he hates Gavin

Ada: I heard the whole conversation between the two

Tina: everyone hates gavin sometimes 

Gavin: fuck you

Tina: listen, i said  _ sometimes _

Gavin: still fuck you

Tina: thank you 

Gavin: your not welcome

Nines: You’re*

Gavin: nines stfu

Tina: nines do not stfu 

Tina: i would like a long speech about the different yourses

Nines: Your is a possessive adjective while you’re is the conjunction of you and are 

Tina: thank you nines

Tina: where's gavel

Gavin: omfg

Tina: would you prefer judge hammer?

Gavin: i’d prefer just my name thank you very much

Tina: judge hammer it is then

Gavin: no

Tina: gavel or judge hammer

Tina: pick one 

Tina: or i'm calling you shitface

Gavin: none of the above

Gavin: just don’t refer to me

Tina: ah yes my best fwiend fowever [REDACTED]

Gavin: i swear everytime you talk i lose a little bit more of my sanity

Tina: you had none to begin with 

Gavin: i had some

Gavin: now i have like a nanogram of it

Tina: wow you learned some big vocabulary words didnt you gav-gav 

Gavin: g-

Gavin: i’m-

Gavin: why am i friends with you

  
  


Tina: because i'm awesome

Gavin: no your not

Nines: You’re*

Nines: Gavin please start trying to correct yourself before I do.

Gavin: if another word comes out of your tin can mouth i will break you and say it was 

an accident

Nines: You can’t do that.

Gavin: yes i can

Tina: you'd break your heart in the process pal 

Gavin: well maybe i wouldn’t

Nines: You would.

Gavin: i hate you

Nines: You love me.

Tina: AWWWWWWWW

Tina: adorable 

Gavin: shut up

Tina: why are you going to break  _ my _ tin can mouth and say it was an accident

Gavin: just shut up.

Gavin: please

Gavin: for my sanity 

Tina: didn't i say that like the day we met

Gavin: i can’t remember when we met so-

Tina: wow rude

Gavin: how long ago was it now?

Tina: i don't know like years

Gavin: exactly

Gavin: you think i remember those things

Tina: no 

Tina: i forgot about your stupidity sorry 

Tina: i'm kidding

Tina: a little

Gavin: wow thanks

Gavin: you’re such a great friend

Gavin: also i’ve been working as a detective for however long i don’t think im stupid


	5. The V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woah 2 updates in one day  
> anyways bullying gavin with some chlonnor i guess

North: Gavin

North: Gavin

North: Gavin

Gavin: tf do you want

North: Your attention

Gavin: for what-

North: Well I don't know yet 

Gavin: then you won't have my attention

Tina: i need it too

Gavin: why tho

Tina: i think you know why

Gavin: ?

Gavin: don't tell me this is about me and nines

Tina: nah nines is fine

Tina: this is just about you 

Gavin: then what is it

Tina: it's the daily routine of making fun of you

Gavin: sometimes I just can't put up with you

Gavin: this is one of those times

Tina: i'd apologize but

Ada: HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT

Gavin: oh god oh no

Gavin: please don't

North: WHAT WHAT HAPPENED

Ada: Guess who I saw at the DPD kissing ;)

Ada: If you guessed Gavin and Nines you'd be correct.

North: OH MY GOSH YES

Ada: I JUST LOOKED UP AND THERE THEY WERE THERE

Tina: ew was it like slobbery

Ada: From the looks of it Gavin is a terrible kisser

Nines: He's _half-decent_.

Tina: it's okay nines you don't have to lie this is a ✨safe space✨

Nines: I'm not lying, he's half-decent. Nothing more, nothing less.

Nines: That's from someone who's kissed him around 5 times

Gavin: everyone stfu

Tina: you're not my mom 

Gavin: yeah I'm not

Tina: so you can't tell me what to do

Gavin: I just find it weird everyone is talking about my kissing abilities

Tina: i just asked if it was slobbery

Gavin: your right

Gavin: blame ada

Nines: **_You're*_ **

Gavin: I've just accepted my terrible grammar at this point

Tina: that's not a good thing

Gavin: yOu'Re NoT mY mOm

Tina: hm, touché

Gavin: what the fuck do you mean-

Tina: it's an expression dumbass

Tina: it means like fair enough

Gavin: I don't have the mental power of a fucking toddler tina

Gavin: i know what it means

Ada: Also I saw something else today

Ada: At the DPD

North: You’re quite the DPD spy, but go on

Ada: Nines said fuck

North: GAVIN

North: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING HIM

Gavin: HE PICKED IT UP ON HIS OWN DONT BLAME ME

North: WELL WHERE DO YOU THINK HE LEARNED IT FROM HUH??

Tina: i'm very disappointed in you son

Gavin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE IN A SAD LONELY FUCKING HOLE

Tina: hmmm, nines picked it up by himself clearly 

Nines: I'm just going to go offline for a bit.

Ada: Yeah avoid the anger of Gavin

Ada: He's probably soft to you though.

North: Which is adorable

Ada: Gavin is quite adorable at times

Gavin: MOTHERFUCKERS

Ada: And just like that, he's offline.

Ada: Gavin and Nines are both offline hmmm

Ada: Wonder what they'll get up to.

North: Gavin and Nines sittin in the DPD

North: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Ada: Pretty much

Ada: Wait now we're free to talk about Gavin without him swearing like crazy

North: Wonderful

North: I have lots to say

Ada: Let's start with… what shall we start with?

North: I don't really know there's so much to tackle 

Ada: There really is

Ada: Let's start with how jealous he gets

Ada: Alright storytime

Ada: So one time Gavin, Nines and I were at New Jericho right. And me and Nines were casually talking about his model and all that and Gavin got so jealous he full on interrupted our conversation.

Ada: Like Gavin stfu let me have a nice conversation with your boyfriend.

North: OH MY GOSH

North: I thought I was protective 

Ada: Gavin's much worse

North: Yeah I can see that

Ada: They weren't even together at that point.

Ada: Okay you choose the next topic. 

North: Hmmm

North: The defensiveness every time he makes a mistake maybe?

Ada: Ah yes

Ada: He either swears at you or he goes offline

Nines: May I join in on this conversation?

North: YES

Nines: I can agree with the defensiveness. Even when I tell him calmly to get some rest he snaps back at me.

Ada: He really needs more sleep. He looks like a walking corpse

North: Trust Ada she knows what corpses look like

Ada: I've only killed androids you realise that right

Ada: They don't have the same effects on the body caused by death

Ada: Humans actually rot away, while an android corpse can pretty much last forever if left there.

Ada: Trust me, I know.

Nines: Didn't you kill like 8 androids?

Ada: It would be nine if you died.

North: Does no one notice _Nines_ would have died _ninth_

Ada: That was the joke.

North: YOU DID THAT INTENTIONALLY???

Ada: AS SOON AS I MET NINES I WANTED TO MAKE THE JOKE

North: OH MY GOD MARRY ME

Ada: I WAS PLANNING ON DOING THAT ANYWAYS

North: GOOD

Nines: Do you two want to know a conversation Gavin and I once had?

Nines: Also Ada, that joke isn't funny.

Ada: It's funny to North and I

Ada: Also yes please give us the conversation.

Nines: We were having an argument and I said "I see you're in a mood again" and he replied "It isn't a mood, it's me.". 

North: Well at least he's being honest

Ada: True

Nines: Most of the time he is quite nice to me, even if he had a different way of expressing it. 

North: Ah yes, the **different** way

Ada: Like blowing a kiss at you at work?

Nines: It was one time.

North: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nines: We weren't even together at that point.

North: EVEN BETTER??? Omg he KNEW

Nines: He was probably just getting back at me for the time he thought I was flirting.

Nines: Which I won't confirm nor deny if I intentionally was. 

North: Adorable

Tina: are we talking about gavin’s stupidity because if so hello hi

Ada: Hello we even got Nines to join in.

Tina: well of course he has the second most to complain about 

Tina: but i've known the guy for literal years and you have no idea

Ada: Anything to contribute?

Tina: if i said everything i had to contribute it would take weeks, but there was this one time

Tina: so we all know how he despised connor right

Nines: I believe we all do.

Tina: and the model number is like RIGHT THERE you can’t miss it even if you tried 

Tina: this little shit had to _ask him_

Nines: Gavin asked Connor for his model number?

Tina: yes

Tina: and he wasn't even far away too he was doing that thing where he gets close to look intimidating 

Ada: Nines you need to take him to an optometrist

Ada: Also I find it ironic how Gavin despised Connor and dates Nines

Ada: They're almost the same model

North: The difference is Nines has a backbone 

North: No hate to Connor but like

Connor: It's alright

North: OH I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE ONLINE

Connor: I just got on, Hank was drinking again.

Hank: Oh yeah

Connor: Oh hi Lieutenant.

Tina: oh god no

Ada: Hi welcome we're shit talking Gavin

Ada: Have anything to add?

Hank: Gaivb smells like

Hank: Death

Connor: Apparently Hank is more drunk than I thought.

Connor: I personally don't have many experiences with Detective Reed but he did punch me in the stomach when I refused to make him coffee.

Hank: Where is he 

Hank: I'm gonna beta him ukp 

Connor: Lieutenant no.

Hank: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha

  
  


Nines: Connor, how many glasses did Hank have?

Connor: Alot.

Hank: Just one tiny oen 

Connor: Lieutenant it was _way_ more.

Connor: He almost passed out. I was surprised he didn't.

Ada: Where's Chloe

Ada: We still haven't finished the mystery of Connors' crush.

Hank: He's to young to daet 

Nines: Too* date*

Hank: Quiet connor 2

Nines: Your Connor is technically the 52nd one.

Hank: no 

Hank: Your the ninth one riiight

Nines: I am the first in the RK900 model line. Connor and I are not the same model.

Hank: where is somu 

Tina: hank go to bed

Connor: I agree, Lieutenant please.

Hank: It's only like 

Hank: what time is it

Connor: 01:32

Hank: yeah so it's morning time

Connor: Lieutenant it is the middle of the night.

Nines: Guys Gavin fell asleep on me.

Hank: That's it i'm making pancackes 

Connor: Lieutenant no.

Hank: I'm making braekfsat

Connor: Hold on I need to stop Hank from getting up.

Hank: Can we go to the disney wourld

North: This is terrifying

Ada: Agreed.

North: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

North: *Record scratch*

Nines: ?

North: Please repeat what you said earlier😀

Nines: My message about Gavin?

North: Y e s 

Nines: Gavin fell asleep on me.

North: TJDJGJDJGJDJGIDIEJ ONHYKG YES THATS AMAZING

Nines: He first did it a few days ago, I just wasn't online when it happened. 

Nines: He's cute.

Ralph: **sends a picture of a succulent**

North: Plant

Ralph: Plant :)

Ada: Plant

Connor: Plant :] 

Tina: plant

Chloe: Plant!

Nines: Plant.

Hank: Pant

Connor: Also hi Chloe!

Chloe: Hello!! :)

Connor: How are things going?

Chloe: Really good!

Connor: That's good! Hank's drunk again :/

Hank: No im not

Chloe: Awwww that's the worst :( Do you want me to come over and help you out?

Connor: Yes please

Chloe: Okay! Be there in a few minutes

Connor: Thank you in advance :]

Ada: 👀

North: 👀👀👀👀

Ada: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Connor: She's just coming to help with Hank, nothing else.

Chloe: Yeah! I just don't want you to overwork yourself, right?

Connor: Yeah!

Ada: They're so cute together oh my rA9

North: RIGHT-

Connor: We're not going to be a 'thing'.

Connor: End of story.

North: Aaaaand Chloe’s offline

Ada: Connor don't worry it's _probably_ not your fault.

North: Probably

Ada: Like, 90%

Connor: It's fine, I'm fine.

Ada: Connor you're allowed to feel emotions your a deviant now

Ada: No more Amanda

North: Oh god 

North: Do I even want to know what Amanda is

Ada: Depends, do you want to hear about the bane of mine, Connor and probably Nines' existence?

North: Can I kill it

North: If so then yes

Ada: No but I'm explaining anyways

Ada: She represents CyberLife in our ✨mind palace✨ and she's kinda dumb but really controlling.

Ada: She sucks

Connor: Here's the thing.

Ada: Don't tell me you still have to deal with her

Connor: I do, I do.

Ada: I feel so bad for you

North: For once, I'm not jealous of prototypes

Ada: Wait

Ada: **Markus is a prototype**

Connor: Yes, Markus is an RK200 model, significantly older than us though.

Ada: I'm the oldest

Connor: I'm going to go offline for a bit, Chloe's here.

North: OH GOSH 

North: Okay now that he’s gone we can get to wedding plans

North: Do I ship people too much?

Ada: No I think you ship them a healthy amount

North: Thank you

Ada: You're welcome :)

**Author's Note:**

> this is 14 pages long bnwhjrgnjker  
> formatting disaster


End file.
